Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Marching with Pride

This past Sunday I had the unique experience of representing my congregation in the St. Louis Pride parade in the south grand neighborhood of the city. The Pride parade is a celebration of identity and culture by the homosexual community and my participation was with a large group of clergy and congregational representatives called Holy Ground, a loose coalition of congregations of many faiths that are open to homosexuals.

I was impressed (but not surprised) by the festive mood of the entire event. But I was especially impressed by the turnout of the religious community, in particular my fellow Jewish congregations. The media love to paint issues such as gay rights in black and white terms, saying that "religious people" oppose gay rights. The scene on Sunday showed that impression to be very far from the truth.

Most of the non-orthodox Jewish congregations in St. Louis were represented. It made me consider why Jews, at least progressive minded ones, are in general not just open minded when it comes to issues involving homosexuality, but that we are willing to march in such a clearly identifiable way.

Obviously the Exodus narrative that forms the base of our identity as Jews calls us to seek out justice and equality for all people, that was fully on display in the 1960's civil rights demonstrations and marches. But I think there is something deeper that draws non-orthodox Jews and the homosexual community together.

As Jews in America, we must make a conscious decision to identify ourselves publicly as Jews. It will never be a part of our ID cards, on our passports, or in any official document outside of the anonymous long form census questionable. In other words, it is easy for Jews to ignore or supreme who they are and to reject the legacy that is ours by birth. Of course many Jews do choose this path.

The same is true in many ways for the homosexual community. Just as Jews, in general, do not look any different than the majority population, the homosexual community does not look any different either. Therefore the declare oneself as a homosexual is an act of identification, of accepting what has been given to you at birth, and there is the option of denying who you are (although it is much more psychologically damaging for a homosexual to deny who he or she is than it is for a Jew to do the same).

Therefore each group, homosexuals and Jews, have the ability to either embrace or deny who they are. An event like pride gives homosexuals the ability to do that and to be surrounded by an accepting and caring community. As a heterosexual Jew, I felt the event gave me the opportunity to proclaim my support for the homosexual community not just in a general way, but in a way that allowed me to identify myself with my own community of Jews as well.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Cult of Celebrity

On the same day that Israel was remembering the third anniversary of the kidnapping of Soldier Gilad Shalit (with his potential release coming we pray), the US Supreme Court handed down a near unanimous decision that could be seen as a rebuke of no-tolerance policies at schools and the environmental debate took more definite shape in congress, the major headline in every newspaper was the death of Michael Jackson, with the second story the death of Farrah Fawcett (if you want to link to those last two just go to any news webiste you like, it will be far more prominent than any of the above stories, the last of which I really had to look for).

Of course in our celebrity obsessed culture of today, I would have to be extremely out of touch or just plain naive to think that those three very important stories would garner even close to the amount of press of the Fawcett and Jackson deaths, especially when there's a good sex scandal going on in the South Carolina's Governors office (another "family values" politician with a mistress on the side).

Celebrity deaths are often cultural milestones. Whether the death of a popular politician such as JFK, a superstar athlete like Roberto Clemente, or an international superstar like Elvis Presley, the death touches people far beyond the close family and friends of the individual.

Especially in the case of Michael Jackson, I understand that celebrities, especially those who give of their actual talents, weave their way into our lives in a manner that is very different than the important events that I started with. For me, Michael Jackson was an established star by the time I was 5, but it was when I was 8 and 9 years old that his fame exploded into international superstar status. It was right at the time that I was becoming aware of music and the impact that it could have on me. Music has remained an important part of my life since then, and some of my early non-Sesame Street musical memories involve Michael Jackson.

I admit that when I returned home last night and sat down for dinner (Ari and Rachel had eaten earlier), I didn't turn to ESPN or the sit-com re-runs on TBS as I normally would. But I voluntarily turned to MTV for the first time in well over a decade. Then I quickly realized why that was the case and went to E! One thing that stuck me, while not surprising me, was the number of people who were not just gathered near the UCLA medical center, but the ones who were openly weeping as well.

I tried to think of what current non-political celebrity would cause me, an almost 35 year old Rabbi, father, husband to join in such a spontaneous demonstration (I say non political because, God forbid, the assassination of President Obama or Prime Minister Netanyahu would send me out in a heartbeat).

I really couldn't think of one. If I were old enough at the time, I might have gone out for John Lennon, and maybe even Elvis. But despite his impact on my early musical tastes, I wouldn't have even considered it for Michael Jackson. The only one I could think of is if, once again God forbid, something tragic happened to Albert Pujols assuming I still lived in St. Louis (no immediate plans to leave). But even then, I'm not sure why.

So what is it that inspires people to join an assembly such as the one at UCLA yesterday for a person such as Michael Jackson? I suspect it is the same urge that compels people to watch disgusting voyeuristic TV shows such as TMZ and Access Hollywood. There is a cult of celebrity in our culture that creates a feeling that if we somehow attach ourselves to a celebrity (or sports team, or politician even) that it enriches our lives in some way. In most cases, I suspect such attachments ultimately leave us more empty than anything else. But like a drug that creates a high before a crash, the feeling of enrichment is just the same.

I do not mean to trivialize the life of Michael Jackson which was at the same time a charmed and tragic life, nor would I suggest that the lives of celebrities are not worthwhile, because all life is sacred. But ultimately we are all equal before God. While we do not know what lies beyond the grave, my faith tells me that we do answer for our inability to live up to what is best in ourselves, no matter how famous or obscure were were in our lives.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Can we ban reality TV now that it is proven to destroy marriages?

I've never watched an episode of "John and Kate Plus 8" until Rachel and I had it on in the background last night (I was heavily involved in beating my high score on Bejeweled Blitz). I of course saw the headlines and as an avid fan of "The Soup" I knew some of the back story leading to the tensions between the couple.

It amazes me the circus that now surrounds this family. Even more amazing to me is that the couple/non couple suggest that their celebrity is not desire. You can see more in this article:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090623/ap_en_ce/us_tv_jon___kate_split


If the attention was unwanted, and the pressure so great on them, why then did being on TV trump their commitment to each other and to their kids? Why is a family like this willing to put such personal, private struggles on such public display? Of course we know that people are voyeuristic by nature, so we know why such a show is so popular.

The amazing thing is that, by my count, this one TV show has now ruined more marriages than legalized same gender marriage. In fact if you watch the landscape of reality TV, from the horrible "Who wants to Marry a Multi-millionaire" to "Temptation Island" to shows like "Bridezillas" it seems that there is a large segment of the entertainment industry that is out to mock and trivialize marriage instead of recognizing it as a sacred moment in two people's lives.

Yet many of the same people who create, produce and consume these shows buy the idea that legalized same-gender marriage causes harm to the insitution of marriage. Obviously the only things that can dammage any marriage are selfish acts, lack of consideration for one's partner and a filure to communicate, things that can happen to any marriage.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

"Racing" for a Cure

Yesterday I was honored to participate in the Susan Komen Race for the Cure here in St. Louis. I put racing in ""s in the title of this post because I definitely didn't race; I walked the 5k along with some 65,000 others. you can see pictures of the massive crowds here, courtesy of Ben Minoff. In case you don't know, the specific cure that is being sought out is a cure for breast cancer.

I walked with Greta's Group organized in memory of B'nai El member Greta Forsman by her daughter Jennifer Houser. The beautiful weather gave us a wonderful opportunity to remember Greta, her courage in the face of cancer and the wonderful person that she was.

It was truly an amazing day. To stand at the intersection of Olive and Jefferson and to see nothing but a seas of people stretching out to the east and west seemingly without end was an amazing sight to see. But even more inspiring were all of the individual tributes. As I waited at a pre-arranged intersection to meet my group, I saw so many different tributes, both "in celebration of" and in memory of. It was such a diverse crowd; people of every race, religious background and social/economic class were represented. All of them with at least one thing in common: a desire to defeat this terrible disease.

I know also that everyone has a story, from the group of African Americans all wearing the t-shirt of the same woman, to the young man in a racing wheelchair that simply had the words, "In Celebration of Mom" pinned to his back.

I know that my walking did little to actually find a cure for breast cancer, and my $25 registration did only a little. But I do hope that my presence, when taken as a part of the 65,000 people inspired a woman to fight even harder against the cancer, helped a family work through its grief, helped a survivor realize she is far from alone, or helped a research team know how many people stood behind their work and how important it was to every last one of the 65,000 people who came out to join the race for a cure.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Hate and Violence: Where left and right meet

When we discuss politics we often discuss it as if political views were a straight line from right to left (or left to right), and that everyone has a place on that line. In such an analogy the ends of that line are as far apart from each other as one could imagine. Therefore, when a series of tragic, politically motivated, shootings strikes our country in the way it has these past couple of weeks, those toward one side of the line or the other either try to blame the other side, keep score, or minimize their own role in promoting the extremism of their own side.

There have been three such shootings recently. The murder of Dr. George Tiller, provider of late-term abortions in Kansas, Pvt. William Long, who was standing outside of a Army recruiting station, and now Stephen John, a security guard at the National Holocaust Museum.

The first two of these incidents can be somewhat pigeon holed to the right and left extremes, but it is this most recent incident that shows how close in ideology the extreme left and right really are. The gunman at the museum was a blend of all of the crazy ideologies that come from both the left and the right. He was a white supremacist (right), hated George W. Bush (left), anti-government (right), appears to be anti Christian (left) and was clearly Anti-semitic (a feature of both extremes). Ultimately he used violence as his tool, a tool that the murderers of both Dr. Tiller and Pvt. Long had no problem using either.

See this article in the Washington Post for a complete discussion of the vairiety of issues of the Museum shooter (I am intentionally not using the assailants' names).

What this shows to me is that the political spectrum is not a line, but rather a circle, wherein it eventually comes back on itself. One could consider the edges of the mainstream (think O'Reilly and Olberman) as the right and left most parts of the circle. Someone like Democrat turned Republican turned Democrat Sen. Arlen Spector, might be at the top of the circle, and then the three terrorists that we have recently experience are at the bottom of the circle, perhaps leaning toward one side or another, but all indoctrinated so much into the ideology of hate for those who are different, that there is no real difference here between any of the three.

Extremism in all its forms is the one intolerance that a free nation must have as it logically leads to violence. We must be cognizant of the messages that the "mainstream" right and left are sending as well, as we see how those messages get twisted by those with sick and hate-filled minds (example: Calling Dr. Tiller, "Tiller the Baby Killer" might get ratings, but has the subtle suggestion that he must be stopped by whatever means - no matter if the person using that phrase might want to use legal means to stop him).

Ultimately all three of these murders are acts of terrorism. Dr. Tiller's murderer wanted to send a message that those who perform abortions are in danger. Pvt. Long's murderer wanted to send a message that our soldiers are in danger, even here, and Mr. John's murderer was trying to send a message to all Jews and Jewish sympathizers that they are not safe.

Instead of trying to blame each other for these acts of violence, we need to look at our own words and our own actions to try to unite against such acts.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Daddy's Bedtime Shema

The Shema is one of the central pieces of Jewish liturgy. Taken from Deuteronomy (6:4) it is a statement of faith in one God: "Hear, Israel, Adonai is God, Adonai is One." This statement distinguishes Judaism from other religions. In its original context of ancient times it differentiated itself from the paganism of surrounding cultures. In later times, it differentiated itself from Christianity (which split the one God into 3 parts), Gnostic belief (Good God and Evil God), and Islam (one God, but by a different name). In Modern times, although we recognize the Christian Trinity and Muslim Allah as the same God as ours, it still serves as marker of who we are as Jews.

It is for this reason, that it is a statement of not just faith, but identity, that the Shema holds such a prominent place not only in our liturgy, but also as a night time prayer, especially for children.

As Ari made the recent transition from crib to "big boy bed" I realized even more how aware Ari was becoming of his surroundings and his place within them. I had said the Shema with him as an newborn, but stopped when he reached a point where my voice would wake him from having fallen asleep in my arms.

When I began again, I wasn't sure if he'd get it. But while he didn't join me, the smile on his face told me all I needed to know. He recognized it from pre-school and from services and was happy that I now brought it to his bedtime routine as a special moment between him and Daddy.

The challenge of blogging

Welcome to my new Blog. I call it new, not just because it is new, but because this is my 3rd attempt at a blog (in some ways a 4th attempt). Blogging may seem easy, but as those of you who are fellow bloggers know, it can be hard to come up with topics that seem relevant and that the blogger thinks others may find interesting.

That later point is very important to me. I want others to find my blog posts to be interesting and compelling. While I am on facebook, I rarely post status updates. I have avoided Twitter altogether, because I personally don't care when you are doing laundry* and I don't think you care about when I am doing it either**.

* unless you are my wife
** in full disclosure the laundry is the one household chore I do not take part in on a regular basis

What inspired me to come back, well two things. One is this article I saw in this sunday's New York Times:

When the Thrill of Blogging is Gone

The article, in case you don't care to read it says that according to a particular search engine, only 5% of blogs have been updated in the past 120 days. That means there are close to 125 dormant blogs, and until I deleted them earlier today I was responsible for 2. How was this inspiring to me, well, it was really more of a challenge to me to finally follow through on a blog and be one of the 5% that kept at it.

The other reason I was inspired to blog was looking at the success of a particular blog of one of my colleagues who happens also to be a lifelong friend, Phyllis Sommer. Her blog: Ima on (and off) the Bima was recently covered in Reform Judaism Magazine and has served for her as a valauble way to communicate with both members of her congregation and others from all over.

I hope that this blog will give me some of those same opportunities. I believe that as a Rabbi, a dad, a husband, a committed Jew who is a part of a very diverse Jewish family, a lover of the finer things in life, a fan of sports, a bit of a political buff (although some might call me a political hack), and as one who believes strongly in the core values of equality, fairness and justice, I have something to share with others that hopefully you find interesting enough to comment on and compelling enough to come back for more. I thank you for reading my words and the opportunity to share my thoughts with you.